“The Other Guys” Review

August 27, 2010 Leave a comment

The previews for this movie make it look like possibly one of the funniest movies in a long time. While I’m not sure it quite lives up to this accolade, it is definitely a quality film and well worth seeing.

The make or break factor of any Will Ferrell comedy is how funny Ferrell is himself. “Anchorman” and “Talledega Nights” were great because Ferrell’s portrayals of Ron Burgundy and Ricky Bobby were so over the top and funny. Conversley, “Semi Pro” was mostly a disappointment because Ferrell’s character seemed a bit unoriginal and just didn’t deliver enough good jokes.

Will Ferrell’s character, Allen Gamble, in “The Other Guys” is a big success. He is unlike most of Ferrell’s previous characters in that he is more of a nerd. He is a good foil to Mark Wahlberg’s character who is always angry and yelling. There’s something about Will Ferrell wearing glasses that is automatically hilarious. We also meet Allen’s alter ego “Gator” who is a drug addicted pimp. Ferrell yelling “Gator don’t play that!” is among the movie’s funniest lines.

Also, one of the movie’s coolest scenes in my opinion is where Ferrell and Wahlberg go drinking. It’s just a series of progressively more ridiculous still shots (in the last one Ferrell is biting a priest’s arm) with awesome music in the background. This scene only lasted a minute or two but to me it was one of the coolest and most memorable of the entire film.

There are many other aspects of this movie, some that worked and others that were less successful, but I think the main thing people want to see when going to a Will Ferrell comedy is him being funny. And he is, and you will laugh, so see it.

The Return of Wes

August 20, 2010 Leave a comment

2 catches for 20 yards.

It may not seem like much, but those numbers mean one thing: Wes Welker is back. He only played one series in the Patriots second preseason game (beating the Falcons 28 to 10) but it marked his first live game action since his horrendous knee injury against the Texans in week 17 of last season.

So called “experts” were sure that this injury would have devastating effects on Welker. Many questioned whether he would be able to play at all in the 2010 season. Some even thought that his career might be in jeopardy, primarily because his unique stop-and-go playing style would seem to take more of a toll on the knees and cause more of a problem than for the average NFL player trying to come back from an injury.

But on Thursday night, what we saw was not a player who had any trace of a limp, any difficulty making cuts and getting off the line, or any hesitance or fear to take a hit. We saw typical Wes Welker.

Randy Moss may get more touchdowns and long passes, but at this point, Wes Welker is the best receiver on the Patriots. He is Tom Brady’s security blanket. Whenever he needs to, Brady get unleash a quick throw to Welker for a guaranteed 7 or 8 yards. He is never afraid to take a hit, and he has a passion for winning as strong as anyone on the Patriots (and the NFL).

Wes Welker will win the 2010 Comeback Player of the Year, and he will be a pro bowler every year for the next 5 years, at least.

Categories: NFL Tags: ,

Nonsensical Palindromes

August 17, 2010 Leave a comment

Tattoo has tell lewd well lets a hoot tat

Flog dweller rabbi rib barrel lewd golf

O tap Aziz Ansari miras Nazi zapato

Categories: Random Tags: ,

Roast of David Hasselhoff Awards

August 16, 2010 1 comment

As far as roasts go, the person who is being roasted is really not all that important. Often the funniest jokes are at the expense of the other roasters on the dais. This was the case last night, as the funniest jokes were directed at Pamela Anderson, Lisa Lampanelli, and Jerry Springer.

Overall this was one of the funnier roasts in recent memory. Seth MacFarland did a great job as Roastmaster, with many of the more intelligent jokes of the night in his opening routine. Almost everyone seemed to bring their A game, and there were several over-the-top, truly epic jokes. Here are my “awards” for the evening.

Worst delivery of jokes: Hulk Hogan

Hogan’s gruff, faux-intimidating voice and delivery style is perfect for pro-wrestling but terrible for comedy (accept unintentional comedy). It was painfully clear that all of his jokes had been written for him, and he probably didn’t even understand half of them. At one point he even said, “I can’t read this,” in case there was any doubt left that this was not his own material.

Most “shit on”: Jerry Springer

Springer gets this award because of how angry and uncomfortable he looked after each roaster tore him apart. These jokes were much harsher than Lisa Lampanelli fat jokes because they emphasized how truly sleazy he and his show are and how they represent the absolute worst things of this country. I think Jeffrey Ross said it best when he said that Springer “bathes in the tears of poor people.” Lampanelli can laugh at herself when she is shit one; Springer just looks like there is actual shit on him which he is unable to wash off. To make matters worse, when he had his chance to get back at the roasters, he utterly failed, delivering what was surely the worst roasting of the night.

Biggest Surprise: Whitney Cummings

Cummings had appeared in one or two previous roasts and was relatively unfunny and unmemorable. Many of the jokes about her seemed to focus on her lack of talent. This year she was very funny overall and especially when going after Pamela Anderson. She delivered the best joke of the night saying, “Pam, you’ve had sex with Tommy Lee, Brett Michaels, and Kid Rock. Why don’t you just save some time and drink a vat of Magic Johnson’s blood.” After her exquisite tirade on Pam she added, “Oh yeah, everything I just said goes for your daughter too, Hulk.”

Creepiest Moment: (tie) Jerry Springer hitting on Baywatch girl and any sight of George Hamilton’s face

Nuff said

Best “too soon?” joke: Greg Giraldo

“David Hasselhoff’s liver is so dead, black, and shriveled up that if you put your ear to it, you’d hear, ‘watchu talking bout Willis?’”

Best racist joke: Gilbert Gottfried

“Who are all these black men that have sex with Lisa Lampanelli? What black man in this day and age would go into something the size of a slave ship?”

But in the end, they are all winners; except for David Hasselhoff, Jerry Springer, and Hulk Hogan. They suck.

Ultrinsic: A New Way to Gamble and Make School More Fun

August 12, 2010 2 comments

Ultrinsic.com is a new website that allows users to bet on their grades in college. The name means an ULTerior motivation that produces intRINSIC love of knowledge. Here’s how the creators came up with the idea:

While hanging out together one Sunday afternoon, I mentioned to my friend Steven Wolf that I had an exam the following day and that if I were to study I was sure to get an A. (At the time, I was a student at University of Pennsylvania.)  But I was enjoying my Sunday afternoon, and I told Steven that I had no intention of studying. That’s when, in order to provide me with motivation, we made the following agreement: If I got an A on the exam, he would give me $100, and if I didn’t get an A, I would give him $20. Steven and I quickly realized that lots of other students might like this kind of motivation.  To that end, we began developing what is now Ultrinsic Motivator Inc. – Jeremy Gelbart

I love this idea. If you’re like me, gambling on anything always adds fun and excitement, and while I am smart, I often have trouble motivating myself to put in the work that I should for my college classes. What better way to combine my love of gamble and my disdain for studying?

I’m currently entering my senior year, so I’ll only have a brief opportunity to use this site, but anyone entering their freshman year of college can put down $20 and turn it into $2000 if they manage to achieve a 4.0. Granted that is pretty tough at most schools, but for the rest of us, you can simply wager on getting any given grade in whatever class you choose. What’s impressive about Ultrinsic is that using your academic history and whatever information it can find on how tough the class is, it automatically comes up with custom odds for each individual for any class and any grade level. You can even use it as a fall-back plan, say betting $20 that you’ll get worse than a B, thus taking the sting out of it if this should happen. I would prefer using it for motivational purposes rather than as “grade insurance” but if you are less confident in your academic abilities this might not be a bad way to go.

Ultrinsic is currently available for 35 different colleges. I plan to try it out this fall, and I suggest you do the same.

Brett Favre Retires (for now)

August 3, 2010 Leave a comment

Brett Favre has announced today that he will not be returning to the Vikings next season. Yes this is big news, but let’s just say we’ve been here before. The result of being “the boy who cried ‘I’m retiring’ ” is that no one will take you seriously. As Packers linebacker Nick Barnett said of the news, “It’s like believing in Santa Claus. You get gifts, but you ain’t seen Santa Claus,” he said. “We’ll see what happens … If he does retire, congratulations. It’s a well-deserved retirement. But if he does come back, we’ll be gunning for him the same way.”

I’m sure most of the NFL and the entire country feels this same way. This time, however, I’m inclined to believe Brett. Unlike last off-season, Favre is coming off a great season. He threw 33 TDs and only 7 ints, (as opposed to his previous year with the Jets when he led the league in picks) and he led the Vikings all the way to the NFC Championship Game. Granted he single-handedly cost them a trip to the Super Bowl with his egregious late 4th quarter pick, but I think he reached a level last year that set the bar awfully high. I don’t think he can be anywhere near as good as he was last season, and I think Brett realizes this too. Everyone likes to go out on a high note. At times it seems unlikely that Favre cares an awful lot about his credibility, but surely he knows that backing out of retirement for a third consecutive year would create a public backlash that even he could not recover from.

In the end, this move is the best thing for the Vikings as well. It’s quite unlikely that Sage Rosenfels or Tavaris Jackson will be able to equal Favre’s 2009 output, but this closure lets the Vikings move on and look towards the future. It’s never a good situation to be strung along and wondering each year if it will be your quarterback’s last. The Vikings need someone for the long-haul who can be the facilitator to all of the great talent around him.

In the meantime, I will not officially believe Brett until he is talking before a podium at Canton, Ohio…and even then, I’ll remain skeptical.

NFL Predictions

July 29, 2010 Leave a comment

With training camp getting underway, now is the perfect time to unveil my 2010 NFL predictions. I will give you plenty of more detailed NFL analysis quite frequently, but for now I’m just going to spew the raw prognostications on this page. Feel free to comment and criticize.

AFC East: Patriots

AFC North: Ravens

AFC South: Colts

AFC West: Chargers

AFC Wild Cards: Texans and Jets

AFC Champions: Patriots

NFC East: Cowboys

NFC North: Packers

NFC South: Saints

NFC West: 49ers

NFC Wild Cards: Vikings and Bears

NFC Champions: Packers

Super Bowl: Patriots 27 Packers 24

Individual Awards

MVP: Aaron Rodgers

Offensive Player of the Year: Andre Johnson

Defensive Player of the Year: Patrick Willis

Head Coach of the Year: Mike Singletary

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Dez Bryant

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Eric Berry