“The Other Guys” Review
The previews for this movie make it look like possibly one of the funniest movies in a long time. While I’m not sure it quite lives up to this accolade, it is definitely a quality film and well worth seeing.
The make or break factor of any Will Ferrell comedy is how funny Ferrell is himself. “Anchorman” and “Talledega Nights” were great because Ferrell’s portrayals of Ron Burgundy and Ricky Bobby were so over the top and funny. Conversley, “Semi Pro” was mostly a disappointment because Ferrell’s character seemed a bit unoriginal and just didn’t deliver enough good jokes.
Will Ferrell’s character, Allen Gamble, in “The Other Guys” is a big success. He is unlike most of Ferrell’s previous characters in that he is more of a nerd. He is a good foil to Mark Wahlberg’s character who is always angry and yelling. There’s something about Will Ferrell wearing glasses that is automatically hilarious. We also meet Allen’s alter ego “Gator” who is a drug addicted pimp. Ferrell yelling “Gator don’t play that!” is among the movie’s funniest lines.
Also, one of the movie’s coolest scenes in my opinion is where Ferrell and Wahlberg go drinking. It’s just a series of progressively more ridiculous still shots (in the last one Ferrell is biting a priest’s arm) with awesome music in the background. This scene only lasted a minute or two but to me it was one of the coolest and most memorable of the entire film.
There are many other aspects of this movie, some that worked and others that were less successful, but I think the main thing people want to see when going to a Will Ferrell comedy is him being funny. And he is, and you will laugh, so see it.
The Return of Wes
2 catches for 20 yards.
It may not seem like much, but those numbers mean one thing: Wes Welker is back. He only played one series in the Patriots second preseason game (beating the Falcons 28 to 10) but it marked his first live game action since his horrendous knee injury against the Texans in week 17 of last season.
So called “experts” were sure that this injury would have devastating effects on Welker. Many questioned whether he would be able to play at all in the 2010 season. Some even thought that his career might be in jeopardy, primarily because his unique stop-and-go playing style would seem to take more of a toll on the knees and cause more of a problem than for the average NFL player trying to come back from an injury.
But on Thursday night, what we saw was not a player who had any trace of a limp, any difficulty making cuts and getting off the line, or any hesitance or fear to take a hit. We saw typical Wes Welker.
Randy Moss may get more touchdowns and long passes, but at this point, Wes Welker is the best receiver on the Patriots. He is Tom Brady’s security blanket. Whenever he needs to, Brady get unleash a quick throw to Welker for a guaranteed 7 or 8 yards. He is never afraid to take a hit, and he has a passion for winning as strong as anyone on the Patriots (and the NFL).
Wes Welker will win the 2010 Comeback Player of the Year, and he will be a pro bowler every year for the next 5 years, at least.
Nonsensical Palindromes
Tattoo has tell lewd well lets a hoot tat
Flog dweller rabbi rib barrel lewd golf
O tap Aziz Ansari miras Nazi zapato
Roast of David Hasselhoff Awards
As far as roasts go, the person who is being roasted is really not all that important. Often the funniest jokes are at the expense of the other roasters on the dais. This was the case last night, as the funniest jokes were directed at Pamela Anderson, Lisa Lampanelli, and Jerry Springer.
Overall this was one of the funnier roasts in recent memory. Seth MacFarland did a great job as Roastmaster, with many of the more intelligent jokes of the night in his opening routine. Almost everyone seemed to bring their A game, and there were several over-the-top, truly epic jokes. Here are my “awards” for the evening.
Worst delivery of jokes: Hulk Hogan
Hogan’s gruff, faux-intimidating voice and delivery style is perfect for pro-wrestling but terrible for comedy (accept unintentional comedy). It was painfully clear that all of his jokes had been written for him, and he probably didn’t even understand half of them. At one point he even said, “I can’t read this,” in case there was any doubt left that this was not his own material.
Most “shit on”: Jerry Springer
Springer gets this award because of how angry and uncomfortable he looked after each roaster tore him apart. These jokes were much harsher than Lisa Lampanelli fat jokes because they emphasized how truly sleazy he and his show are and how they represent the absolute worst things of this country. I think Jeffrey Ross said it best when he said that Springer “bathes in the tears of poor people.” Lampanelli can laugh at herself when she is shit one; Springer just looks like there is actual shit on him which he is unable to wash off. To make matters worse, when he had his chance to get back at the roasters, he utterly failed, delivering what was surely the worst roasting of the night.
Biggest Surprise: Whitney Cummings
Cummings had appeared in one or two previous roasts and was relatively unfunny and unmemorable. Many of the jokes about her seemed to focus on her lack of talent. This year she was very funny overall and especially when going after Pamela Anderson. She delivered the best joke of the night saying, “Pam, you’ve had sex with Tommy Lee, Brett Michaels, and Kid Rock. Why don’t you just save some time and drink a vat of Magic Johnson’s blood.” After her exquisite tirade on Pam she added, “Oh yeah, everything I just said goes for your daughter too, Hulk.”
Creepiest Moment: (tie) Jerry Springer hitting on Baywatch girl and any sight of George Hamilton’s face
Nuff said
Best “too soon?” joke: Greg Giraldo
“David Hasselhoff’s liver is so dead, black, and shriveled up that if you put your ear to it, you’d hear, ‘watchu talking bout Willis?’”
Best racist joke: Gilbert Gottfried
“Who are all these black men that have sex with Lisa Lampanelli? What black man in this day and age would go into something the size of a slave ship?”
But in the end, they are all winners; except for David Hasselhoff, Jerry Springer, and Hulk Hogan. They suck.
Ultrinsic: A New Way to Gamble and Make School More Fun
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Ultrinsic.com is a new website that allows users to bet on their grades in college. The name means an ULTerior motivation that produces intRINSIC love of knowledge. Here’s how the creators came up with the idea:
While hanging out together one Sunday afternoon, I mentioned to my friend Steven Wolf that I had an exam the following day and that if I were to study I was sure to get an A. (At the time, I was a student at University of Pennsylvania.) But I was enjoying my Sunday afternoon, and I told Steven that I had no intention of studying. That’s when, in order to provide me with motivation, we made the following agreement: If I got an A on the exam, he would give me $100, and if I didn’t get an A, I would give him $20. Steven and I quickly realized that lots of other students might like this kind of motivation. To that end, we began developing what is now Ultrinsic Motivator Inc. – Jeremy Gelbart
I love this idea. If you’re like me, gambling on anything always adds fun and excitement, and while I am smart, I often have trouble motivating myself to put in the work that I should for my college classes. What better way to combine my love of gamble and my disdain for studying?
I’m currently entering my senior year, so I’ll only have a brief opportunity to use this site, but anyone entering their freshman year of college can put down $20 and turn it into $2000 if they manage to achieve a 4.0. Granted that is pretty tough at most schools, but for the rest of us, you can simply wager on getting any given grade in whatever class you choose. What’s impressive about Ultrinsic is that using your academic history and whatever information it can find on how tough the class is, it automatically comes up with custom odds for each individual for any class and any grade level. You can even use it as a fall-back plan, say betting $20 that you’ll get worse than a B, thus taking the sting out of it if this should happen. I would prefer using it for motivational purposes rather than as “grade insurance” but if you are less confident in your academic abilities this might not be a bad way to go.
Ultrinsic is currently available for 35 different colleges. I plan to try it out this fall, and I suggest you do the same.
Brett Favre Retires (for now)
Brett Favre has announced today that he will not be returning to the Vikings next season. Yes this is big news, but let’s just say we’ve been here before. The result of being “the boy who cried ‘I’m retiring’ ” is that no one will take you seriously. As Packers linebacker Nick Barnett said of the news, “It’s like believing in Santa Claus. You get gifts, but you ain’t seen Santa Claus,” he said. “We’ll see what happens … If he does retire, congratulations. It’s a well-deserved retirement. But if he does come back, we’ll be gunning for him the same way.”
I’m sure most of the NFL and the entire country feels this same way. This time, however, I’m inclined to believe Brett. Unlike last off-season, Favre is coming off a great season. He threw 33 TDs and only 7 ints, (as opposed to his previous year with the Jets when he led the league in picks) and he led the Vikings all the way to the NFC Championship Game. Granted he single-handedly cost them a trip to the Super Bowl with his egregious late 4th quarter pick, but I think he reached a level last year that set the bar awfully high. I don’t think he can be anywhere near as good as he was last season, and I think Brett realizes this too. Everyone likes to go out on a high note. At times it seems unlikely that Favre cares an awful lot about his credibility, but surely he knows that backing out of retirement for a third consecutive year would create a public backlash that even he could not recover from.
In the end, this move is the best thing for the Vikings as well. It’s quite unlikely that Sage Rosenfels or Tavaris Jackson will be able to equal Favre’s 2009 output, but this closure lets the Vikings move on and look towards the future. It’s never a good situation to be strung along and wondering each year if it will be your quarterback’s last. The Vikings need someone for the long-haul who can be the facilitator to all of the great talent around him.
In the meantime, I will not officially believe Brett until he is talking before a podium at Canton, Ohio…and even then, I’ll remain skeptical.
NFL Predictions
With training camp getting underway, now is the perfect time to unveil my 2010 NFL predictions. I will give you plenty of more detailed NFL analysis quite frequently, but for now I’m just going to spew the raw prognostications on this page. Feel free to comment and criticize.
AFC East: Patriots
AFC North: Ravens
AFC South: Colts
AFC West: Chargers
AFC Wild Cards: Texans and Jets
AFC Champions: Patriots
NFC East: Cowboys
NFC North: Packers
NFC South: Saints
NFC West: 49ers
NFC Wild Cards: Vikings and Bears
NFC Champions: Packers
Super Bowl: Patriots 27 Packers 24
Individual Awards
MVP: Aaron Rodgers
Offensive Player of the Year: Andre Johnson
Defensive Player of the Year: Patrick Willis
Head Coach of the Year: Mike Singletary
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Dez Bryant
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Eric Berry
Funniest Person of the Year
This is an excert from Bill Simmons’ mailbag (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100722/mailbag2) that peaked my interest. It’s based on the fact that in sports, there is a definitive MVP each season, but in entertainment this is much harder to quantify. Simmons does a great job breaking it down, and I’ve added my own thoughts at the end.
1975: Richard Pryor
Best stand-up comedian alive (and the most respected). Also crushed his only SNL hosting gig ever with its first legitimately great show and water cooler sketch.
1976: Chevy Chase
SNL’s first breakout star as it became a national phenomenon. He also made the worst move in Funniest Guy history by leaving the show as he was wrapping up his Funniest Guy season. Even “The Decision” was a better idea.
1977-78: John Belushi
Replaced Chase as SNL’s meal ticket in ’77, then had the single best year in Funny Guy History a year later: starred on SNL (during its biggest year ever, when audiences climbed to over 30 million per episode); starred in “Animal House” (the No. 1 comedy of 1978 and a first-ballot Hall of Famer); had the No. 1 album (the Blues Brothers’ first album). No. 1 in TV, movies and music at the same time? I’m almost positive this will never happen again. And also, if you put all the funniest people ever at the funniest points of their lives in one room, I think he’d be the alpha dog thanks to force of personality. So there’s that.
1979: Robin Williams, Steve Martin (tie)
“Mork and Mindy” plus a big stand-up career for Williams; “The Jerk” plus a best-selling comedy album plus “official best SNL host ever” status for Martin.
1980: Rodney Dangerfield
His breakout year with “Caddyshack,” killer stand-up, killer Carson appearances, a Grammy-winning comedy album, and even a Rolling Stone cover. Our oldest winner.
1981: Bill Murray
Carried “Stripes” one year after “Caddyshack.” Tough year for comedy since cocaine was ruining nearly everybody at this point.
1982-84: Eddie Murphy
The best three-year run anyone’s had. Like Bird’s three straight MVPs. And by the way, “Beverly Hills Cop” is still the No. 1 comedy of all time if you use adjusted gross numbers.
(Random note: Sam Kinison’s 1984 spot on Dangerfield’s “Young Comedians” special has to be commemorated in some way. At the time, it was the funniest six minutes that had ever happened and could have singlehandedly won him the title in almost any other year. It’s also the hardest I have ever laughed without drugs being involved. Sadly, I can’t link to it because of the language and because it crosses about 35 lines of decency. But it’s easily found, if you catch my drift.)
1985-86: David Letterman
Went from “cult hero” to “established mainstream star,” ushered in the Ironic Comedy Era, pushed the comedy envelope as far as it could go, and if you want to dig deeper, supplanted Carson as the den father for that generation of up-and-comers and new superstars (Murphy, Leno, Seinfeld, Michael Keaton, Tom Hanks, Howard Stern, etc.) … and on a personal note, had a bigger influence on me than anyone other than my parents. One of two people that I could never meet because I would crumble like a crumb cake. (You can guess the other.)
1987: Jay Leno, Howard Stern (tie)
Seems like a million years ago, but Leno’s frequent appearances on Letterman’s show and enjoyable “Tonight Show” guest host spots stole the ’87 title from Letterman just because he seemed newer and fresher. (Note: The Leno-Letterman spot always delivered the goods. They were unbelievable together. That’s what made it so unbelievable when Leno backstabbed him for the “Tonight Show” job.) Meanwhile, Stern’s morning show had become a tri-state phenomenon and reached the point that people were trading cassette tapes; he even landed a Fox pilot that year.
1988: Eddie Murphy
Reclaimed the throne with “Coming to America” one year after “Raw.” Also, Arsenio Hall’s show had taken off and Eddie was a frequent guest. The last great Eddie year. Alas.
1989: Dana Carvey
SNL’s first breakout star in five years thanks to the Church Lady, his Bush Senior impersonation and a bunch of other things that didn’t really hold up. What’s weird is that Phil Hartman’s SNL stuff held up much better, only it took Carvey leaving for people to realize how great Hartman was.
1990: Billy Crystal
Never had a career year but accumulated enough momentum from his stupendous SNL stint (1984-85), “City Slickers,” his HBO comedy special and his late-night guest spots that his 1990 Oscars host job (the best ever to that point) wins him the award in a weak year. FYI: You could make a decent Bill Hicks case here, but he just wasn’t well-known enough.
1991: Jerry Seinfeld
The year his show started taking off, much to the delight of everyone who loved him from his Letterman/Carson spots and the four episodes from the previous summer. I will never forget me and my buddy Kurt Sanger trying to convince everyone else we knew in college to watch the first episode of Season 2 with us (January 1991) and only a couple biting.
1992: Jerry Seinfeld, Mike Myers (tie)
Seinfeld’s show became a smash hit; Myers was SNL’s biggest star during a resurgent era and also made a hit movie (“Wayne’s World,” now the most dated comedy of all time and totally weird to watch, although the “Bohemian Rhapsody” scene remains funny).
1993: Mike Myers
Weak year. Myers had SNL, “Wayne’s World 2” and “So I Married An Axe Murderer.” You could talk me into giving the entire “Simpsons” writing staff this spot just to get them on the list.
1994: Jim Carrey
“Ace Ventura,” “The Mask” and “Dumb & Dumber.” Has anyone ever gone three-for-three with smash hits in one year? Now he’s just a crazy person on Twitter.
1995: Chris Farley
His long-awaited “I always loved Chris Farley and now I feel totally vindicated because I knew he was going to be famous” year with “Tommy Boy.” Which still holds up, by the way. Silver medal to Norm MacDonald for crushing it on “Weekend Update” during and after the O.J. trial.
1996: Chris Rock
He underachieved on SNL to the point that, when he switched to “In Living Color” for one year, nobody gave a crap. By 1995, he had fallen into the “doing guest spots on ‘Martin’ and ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air'” stage of his career. And then, out of nowhere … “Bring The Pain” happened. The best stand-up special since Eddie in his prime. Who knew?
1997: Garry Shandling
The best season ever (Season 5) of one of the greatest comedies ever (“The Larry Sanders Show”) peaks with “The Roast” (the single funniest episode in the history of the show). Good enough to win a weak year.
1998: Adam Sandler
Became an A-List comedy franchise with “The Wedding Singer” and “The Waterboy.” Weak year otherwise.
1999: Mike Myers, Chris Rock (tie)
“Austin Powers 2” (and A-List celeb status) for Myers; “Bigger and Blacker” special and an inventive weekly HBO show for Rock.
2000: Will Ferrell
At the height of his SNL powers at this point thanks to his Dubya impersonation. You could make a very strong “Will Ferrell was the greatest cast member in the history of SNL” case.
2001: Matt Stone, Trey Parker (tie)
A seminal season for “South Park” (Season 5) peaks with the ballsy Osama episode just eight weeks after 9/11. Weird year for comedy in general. You could make a strong case for Ricky Gervais here; I would give it to him except for the fact that I hate British people.
2002: Larry David
His best “Curb Your Enthusiasm” season (Season 3) and it featured my single favorite episode (the one with Krazee-Eyez Killa).
2003: Dave Chappelle
Season 1. Enough said. The last unequivocal, there-is-no-doubt-whatsoever-that-he-has-the-title comedy season.
2004: Dave Chappelle, Jon Stewart (tie)
Season 2 for Chappelle and a breakout year for Stewart (the 2004 election, his “Crossfire” appearance, the release of his book and his Peabody Award).
2005: Steve Carell
“The Office” takes off and “The 40 Year Old Virgin” hits theaters. Good enough to take a splintered year. Thanks to the Internet boom and cable boom, comedy now became so specialized that it became infinitely more difficult to say one person was “The Funniest Man Alive.” My personal choice: Ferrell again, just because of “Anchorman.”
2006: Sacha Baron Cohen
Borat. More than enough.
2007: Larry David
Comeback year for “Curb” as the Blacks move into Larry’s house. Runner-up: Judd Apatow.
2008: Tina Fey
“30 Rock” takes off and Palin falls into her lap. Our first and only woman!
2009: Zach Galifianiakis
His “Hangover” role was funnier than anything anyone else did … right?
What Simmons does not answer is the original question: who is the funniest person alive? As well as who is, or will be, the funniest person of the year 2010. Here’s my selections.
2010
Daniel Tosh – His Comedy Central show Tosh.0 has been a surprise hit and is continuously increasing in popularity, beating out both the Daily Show and Colbert Report in this year’s ratings. This fall he will be performing a sixty city tour. Nothing about what he does is overly extravagant, he is just genuinely funny. His on point, often over the top, style of making fun of the people in the videos on his show is hilarious and seemingly effortless. As his success continues and his popularity rises, Tosh is turning a small, niche form of comedy into mainstream.
Funniest Person Alive
Will Ferrell – Simmons appointed him comedy MVP of 2000, but you could really make the case for him in almost any year. His presence onscreen is undeniable, rarely missing a beat. He also shows that he can be extremely funny in less traditional forms. He’s had numerous internet sensations on the website funny or die. He recently had great appearances at the MTV Movie Awards, hilariously ruining Draco Malfoy’s award acceptance speech, and even joining the commentators in the Home Run Derby (http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=9909547), at one point shouting, “It’s home run o’ clock,” and breaking into his classic Harry Carey. Judging from the trailer for “The Other Guys,” it has all the makings of another Ferrell classic. His use of the “bad cop, bad cop” rutine produced some of the loudest laughs I’ve heard in a movie theater in a long time, and that was just a preview. All in all, Will Ferrell has held the title of Funniest Person Alive since Anchorman, and he doesn’t look like he’s about to give it up any time soon.
Honorable Mention
Norm MacDonald – For someone who has never really been in a good movie or TV show since SNL, which seems like ages ago, I would still have to put Norm up there with the funniest, though not accomplished, people in the world. Any talk show appearance of his is solid gold; as Simmons would say, “the highest of high comedy.” Case in point
Are You Missing an Instant Classic?
I just discovered this site called Are You Watching This (http://areyouwatchingthis.com/) that keeps track of every game that is in progress in a wide variety of sports, and let’s you know whether you should be watching them or not. All games are judged on the following scale:
OK – All games start off as OK. Snoozers and blowouts are OK. Not even their momma would vote for a game that’s OK.
GOOD – A GOOD game is starting to get good. It’s a tied game in the top of the 9th, or maybe a ranked team down at halftime. If you already have the TV on, you might as well click over and check it out.
HOT – Any game that is in overtime or extra innings, and sometimes just a close finish or upset possibility will reach HOT. This game is definitely worth turning on the TV for.
EPIC – Drop everything you’re doing. This is Boise State vs. Oklahoma, Lebron vs. Pistons, and no-hitter in the bottom of 9th territory. Find the nearest TV post-haste.
I love this idea. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve watched a game and thought to myself, this is an instant classic. My only concern is whether the site will be too lenient as to which games reach the level of epic. The Boise State vs. Oklahoma and Lebron vs. Pistons games definitely warrant it, but recently the World Cup Final between Spain and Netherlands was called also “epic”. You could argue that any World Cup Final is automatically epic, but in my mind, the title of Instant Classic must only be given out in extraordinary circumstances, and there were many better matches in this year’s World Cup than the final itself. I’d say USA vs Slovenia, Netherlands vs Brazil, and possibly Uruguay vs Netherlands were all more “epic” than the final.
During the baseball season I doubt I’ll use this site much, as there are probably only a rare few “epic” games during the regular season. I would say with the NFL it is easy enough to keep track of all the games going on without needing this site. Where areyouwatchingthis will truly shine and be very useful is for NCAA Football, NCAA Basketball, and the NBA. Here there are so many games going on that it is difficult to keep track of them all and easy to miss something epic. So bookmark http://areyouwatchingthis.com/ and don’t miss out on the next Instant Classic.
My Love/Hate Relationship with Matthew Berry’s Love/Hate Column
Every year Matthew Berry releases his annual Love/Hate column for the upcoming fantasy football season. http://sports.espn.go.com/fantasy/football/ffl/story?page=nfldk2k10tmrlovehate
Here is my take on his predictions
Guys I Agree With
Love
Jamaal Charles – He made a big impression going into this season with his 259 yard 2 touchdown game against the Broncos in Week 17 to end last season. He is not a big or powerful runner, which could mean he’ll lose precious goal line carries to newcomer Thomas Jones. However, Charles’ combination of speed and quickness, and his ability to use his blockers well makes him a legitimate starting back. In 2001, another relatively unknown and undersized back got his chance to start with the Chiefs. His name was Priest Holmes and he went on to score a record-breaking 27 touchdowns in his third season in Kansas City. I honestly think that Jamaal Charles has just as much potential, but unfortunately not as good an O-line.
Greg Jennings – Jennings’ numbers were down a bit last year, but he is still one of the most reliable receivers in the NFL. He’s had well over 1000 yards receiving in each of the past two seasons, and I expect his TDs to be up a lot from only 4 last year. Aaron Rodgers has emerged as one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL, and as his top receiver, Jennings will be a top 5 receiver this year and for years to come.
Joe Flacco – Flacco is only entering into his third year in the NFL, and he already seems like a wily veteran. With a solid O-line and rushing attack, he often has little pressure on him and is able to make the plays that are asked of him. Last year he was an always reliable but rarely outstanding fantasy quarterback. This could change this year due to his added experience and the addition of Anquan Boldin. Boldin is one of the best at getting yards after the catch and turning a 7 yard come back into a 40 yard TD. He is a huge boost to any QB, provided he stays healthy.
Tony Romo – Romo has proven that he has what it takes to put up big numbers year after year. While I don’t think he’ll be able to count on the same type of huge numbers from Miles Austin, Dez Bryant is a rookie with definite big play potential.
Felix Jones – Whenever he’s been healthy and on the field, Felix has found ways to makes plays and get into the end zone. I’m banking on the hope that God doesn’t really hate Felix Jones that much, and he’ll have his first completely injury free year.
Shonn Greene – Many picked him as a sleeper last year, and it never really panned out. Much of the reason for this was another stellar year for Thomas Jones. With Jones gone, Greene is in the driver’s seat. He definitely showed flashes of greatness in the playoffs against Cincinnati and San Diego, and Rex Ryan loves to have a tough, physical running game.
Calvin Johnson – Calvin Johnson has always had the speed and athletic ability to be one of the league’s best receivers. The difference this year is that he might actually have a quarterback who can get him the ball. Matthew Stafford did not have the greatest of rookie seasons, but he definitely showed progression. His gutsy comeback against the Browns showed me that he has the desire to be a leader and winner for the Lions. Johnson and Stafford will continue to reap the benefits of each other’s development for many years, as will the city of Detroit.
Ryan Matthews – I’ll admit that I’ve never seen Ryan Matthews play. However, with LT gone and the Chargers spending a first round pick on Matthews, I would wager that they’ll find ample use for him. Darren Sproles is still there and will undoubtedly make his fair share of big plays, but he will never be a 20 carry a game back. The Chargers have a great offense, and if Matthews is on the field, he would be hard-pressed not to put up some pretty solid numbers.
Santana Moss – Moss is a speed guy. He is great at getting down the field. For most of his career his quarterbacks have been Chad Pennington, Mark Brunell, and Jason Campbell. Not exactly the league’s top gun-slingers. Enter Donovan McNabb. McNabb loves to let the ball fly, and I think he and Moss will play well together. Moss reminds me a bit of Desean Jackson, and while he may no longer have that type of speed, if he could perform to even half the level that Jackson did last year, that would be a big improvement.
Hate
Carson Palmer/ Chad Ochocinco – To me the success of the Bengals was somewhat of a fluke last year. Everything came together very well for them in the regular season, only to fall apart in the playoffs. Ochocinco is following in Terrell Owens footsteps in that they both had their own reality show and they are both well past their prime. Palmer is still an above average passer, but I don’t think he has very many weapons at his disposal.
Kevin Smith – After a solid rookie season, Smith definitely took a step backwards last season. With Jahvid Best entering the picture in the Detroit backfield, Smith could soon be struggling to get on the field.
Guys I Disagree With
Love
Matt Forte – Similar to Kevin Smith, Forte had an excellent rookie season and a horrendous sophomore season. While I wouldn’t doubt an improvement over last year’s dismal 4 touchdown performance, I think that the Bears want to be a pass first offense. Jay Cutler may have struggled last season, but I think they are willing to let him take the reins and try to get his groove back.
Fred Jackson – I like Fred Jackson. Whenever I see him play I am always impressed by his tough running and deceptive speed. If he gets the majority of carries in Buffalo I think he will put up solid fantasy numbers. However, I think his job could be in jeopardy to one C.J. Spiller. While many think that Spiller will be used sparingly and mainly as a third down back, I think otherwise. I’ve watched him at Clemson absolutely shred the usually tough defense of my Boston College Eagles. We’ve seen rookie running backs such as Adrian Peterson and Chris Johnson take the league by storm in their rookie seasons, and I think Spiller can be almost as good, thus relegating Jackson to the role of a Chester Taylor or LenDale White.
Dwayne Bowe – Bowe is a good receiver. There is no denying that, but he has no help around him. There is no Tony Gonzalez to distract the defense and no reliable quartback to get him the ball. Bowe will be the main focus of defenses, and he will have a frustrating season.
Jerricho Cotchery – Cotchery as some talent, but he is a perennial under-achiever. In the middle of last season, the Jets traded for Braylon Edwards and this offseason they signed Santonio Holmes. What do you think that says about how high they are on the receivers they had? Cotchery may find some open space when defenses are distracted by these other targets, but I think Edwards, Holmes, and Dustin Keller will all put up better fantasy numbers than Cotchery.
Hate
CJ Spiller – See Fred Jackson
Greg Olsen – Matthew Berry says that Mike Martz offenses don’t use the tight end much, but I don’t buy it. Cutler will me passing a lot, and Olsen is a fast, athletic target. He could be a go-to-guy in the end zone.
Brandon Marshall – Yes he’s recovering from an injury, and yes his quarterback is Chad Henne. In order took make up for those things, you would have to be one of the best receivers in the league, and that’s just what Marshall is. Kyle Orton is a pretty mediocre quarterback, and Marshall was still able to put up his best season yet last year. He has the speed and size to get open, the hands to catch any ball, and once he gets it he has the strength and quickness to get some serious YAC. I’d say behind Andre Johnson, Marshall is arguably the best receiver in the NFL.
Donovan McNabb – McNabb’s greatest years are well behind him, but he can still play. Even when he’s not at his best, McNabb still manages to put up solid numbers year after year. A change of scenery could throw him off his rhythm, but I happen to think it will motivate him, and he will play this season with a fire that we have not seen from him in some time.
Here’s a Few Guys of My Own that Berry Didn’t Mention
Love
Visanthe Shiancoe – Last year he emerged as one of the league’s most dangerous tight ends, and it was no fluke. Shiancoe will continue to get open and make plays. I think it’s likely we’ll see a better year from Adrian Peterson and not quite as good a season from Sidney Rice, and both of these things would benefit Shiancoe.
Steve Smith (NYG) – He his coming off a break out year as well. I think he will continue to develop in his role as a number one wideout and continue the impressive trend he started last season.
Lawrence Maroney – I have been wrong about him so many times before. He has always shown that glimmer of potential that keeps us all going along for the ride and putting up with numerous fumbles and tackles for loss. Fred Taylor and Sammy Morris were starting to look their age last season, so Maroney should get a chance, but it will be his last one. This is truly a make or break year for him, and I say (hopefully) he finally gets it done and develops some constancy.
Hate
Maurice Jones Drew – He is coming off a season that lived up to the early first round selection that he was in almost every league. But I don’t think he can do it by himself again. David Garrard is getting old quickly and the offensive line is among the NFL’s weakest. Week 16 last year, the Jaguars game to New England in a must win game, and were absolutely shut down by a very mediocre Patriots defense. I think teams are finally learning how to contain and even shut down MJD.
Steven Jackson – He’ll get more than his fair share of opportunities, but the problem is his team is so bad that it won’t make much of a difference. The Rams will struggle to put up 17 points a game this year, and while Jackson could get 25 carries a game, he will only put up a handful of 100 yard games and very few TDs.
Brett Favre – Assuming his does indeed return to the Vikings, I think his time has finally run out. Not to say last year was a fluke, but there is no chance he puts up those kind of numbers again. I think this interception total will be way up from last year, and I think that Minnesota will make the switch at around Week 6 when the team is struggling at 3-3.
MonkeyZap 