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Roast of David Hasselhoff Awards

August 16, 2010 1 comment

As far as roasts go, the person who is being roasted is really not all that important. Often the funniest jokes are at the expense of the other roasters on the dais. This was the case last night, as the funniest jokes were directed at Pamela Anderson, Lisa Lampanelli, and Jerry Springer.

Overall this was one of the funnier roasts in recent memory. Seth MacFarland did a great job as Roastmaster, with many of the more intelligent jokes of the night in his opening routine. Almost everyone seemed to bring their A game, and there were several over-the-top, truly epic jokes. Here are my “awards” for the evening.

Worst delivery of jokes: Hulk Hogan

Hogan’s gruff, faux-intimidating voice and delivery style is perfect for pro-wrestling but terrible for comedy (accept unintentional comedy). It was painfully clear that all of his jokes had been written for him, and he probably didn’t even understand half of them. At one point he even said, “I can’t read this,” in case there was any doubt left that this was not his own material.

Most “shit on”: Jerry Springer

Springer gets this award because of how angry and uncomfortable he looked after each roaster tore him apart. These jokes were much harsher than Lisa Lampanelli fat jokes because they emphasized how truly sleazy he and his show are and how they represent the absolute worst things of this country. I think Jeffrey Ross said it best when he said that Springer “bathes in the tears of poor people.” Lampanelli can laugh at herself when she is shit one; Springer just looks like there is actual shit on him which he is unable to wash off. To make matters worse, when he had his chance to get back at the roasters, he utterly failed, delivering what was surely the worst roasting of the night.

Biggest Surprise: Whitney Cummings

Cummings had appeared in one or two previous roasts and was relatively unfunny and unmemorable. Many of the jokes about her seemed to focus on her lack of talent. This year she was very funny overall and especially when going after Pamela Anderson. She delivered the best joke of the night saying, “Pam, you’ve had sex with Tommy Lee, Brett Michaels, and Kid Rock. Why don’t you just save some time and drink a vat of Magic Johnson’s blood.” After her exquisite tirade on Pam she added, “Oh yeah, everything I just said goes for your daughter too, Hulk.”

Creepiest Moment: (tie) Jerry Springer hitting on Baywatch girl and any sight of George Hamilton’s face

Nuff said

Best “too soon?” joke: Greg Giraldo

“David Hasselhoff’s liver is so dead, black, and shriveled up that if you put your ear to it, you’d hear, ‘watchu talking bout Willis?’”

Best racist joke: Gilbert Gottfried

“Who are all these black men that have sex with Lisa Lampanelli? What black man in this day and age would go into something the size of a slave ship?”

But in the end, they are all winners; except for David Hasselhoff, Jerry Springer, and Hulk Hogan. They suck.